How Many Times

IG: @amb1ence

cute asian guy at starbucks makes eye contact with me and i wonder afterward if maybe he could’ve been my future husband

the story of my love life everyone


North Sea Canyon (by David.S.L)


North Sea Canyon (by David.S.L)

cervidRunning Down To The Riptide
cervidRunning Down To The Riptide

Dear followers,

I would like to proclaim my first-world agony of how on the day when I decided not to dress up nor wear makeup (and even worse, after those many Thanksgiving feasts), I saw him this morning. OF ALL DAYS, he decides to show up. Do you know how much anguish I am suffering right now? I have buried my face in my hands countless occasions in this moment, screaming silently in agony at how I cannot proclaim these first-world problems on Twitter because he will see. I don’t think anyone understands that this is probably the worst mistake I have made in the very, very morbid history of my love life. Why must life succumb to such tragic circumstances?! I suffer miserably recalling how he was so very well-dressed whilst I was wilting horribly as a peasant in my scrubs, overcoat, and bare slate. He’s probably so terribly turned off right now by my wretchedness that I doubt he will even be tempted to bear eyes on my being ever again… What’s more, I will likely fail my anatomy midterm this morning. I am in misery, friends. Very much so :(

- Brb goes to cry in corner and wail at her abominable first-world fate -

ever have that moment when you compare selfies w/ glasses and selfies w/o glasses or selfies in the past w/ selfies currently and realize the true nature of your transformation? sometimes, we forget how beautiful we are because we’ve become accustomed to comparing our appearances with those seen on billboards and runways; but, when we take a moment to reflect back on how much we’ve changed and grown up for the better, it is so awe-inspiring to realize that we have so much beauty to embrace within and about ourselves. be thankful for who you are today, because you are beautiful and the people who don’t see you every second of every day will recognize that, too. it is truly such a refreshing and empowering experience to realize my own beauty again. i feel inspired, uplifted and renewed! :)

YO. i feel lost, confused, and frustrated. i don’t know if he’s intentionally or unintentionally trying to make me jealous, because it sure is working. no matter how much i tell myself to get over these mind games, i keep mulling over them… will text him tomorrow even though the better thing would be to stop chasing (not like i’ve been doing that a lot). i really wish he would be more direct with his feelings, but maybe i’ve been sending even more mixed signals than he has. i wish i could spend more time with him. i don’t know why i’m saying this here. i just feel the need to express these sentiments and to have them read and heard by people who aren’t connected to me.

If only you knew and felt the same way.

Don’t you ever get the urge to subtweet something but you don’t want to because honestly he’s too mature for that kind of stuff and he would prob think it was about someone else. Sigh.

Frick. I feel ALMOST stupid in love because these feelings that continually trespass my mind are so stupid. It’s stupid how much I think about this person and the potential of us being together and it’s stupid how I’m getting ahead of myself when I’m still so young and mediocre compared to him. But I can’t stop and it makes me squirm inside thinking how absurdly and fundamentally stupid all of this is. I’m not in love nor am I infatuated. But I guess last night I realized that I feel something toward this person that can no longer be labelled as “platonic”. And here I am expressing these thoughts within a public domain. But I feel compelled to tell someone, regardless of how we are strangers… I really just want to start dating him already.